Dude, Where's My Car?
Martin Scorsese and Paul Thomas Anderson, l still turn up for each and every Adam Sandler movie. I call on Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller or even Steve Carrell anytime my mood turns grey, and you can expect no apologies for this.
Which brings me rather smoothly to the title of the piece, which was stolen from the hilariously funny flick which ranks high up next to "Weekend at Bernie's" on my list of things to see before you die.
Unfortunately, the sequel "Weekend At Bernie's 2" should be avoided at all cost place it in the same bin as the Paris Hilton CD you got five years ago for Christmas and incinerate them both immediately.
The point is that one of the unsung victims of Asia's exploding property boom and development supersised dengue fever is the magical vacant parking place. Forget Joni Mitchell and those rose coloured glasses of 1970. They did pave paradise – but in many cases forgot to put up the parking lot.
Rising con do towers around every corner and the new affluent middle class who all want a brand new shiny automobile are wreaking havoc on the region's infrastructure. Cars line the streets, alleys and highways as far as the eye can see. So where to park? Hobbit house condominiums only provide the bare essential facilities, often in square boxes the size of my filing cabinet. Extra parking for guests? No way.
Developers are sucking up the profit from holding back on vehicle spaces to branch out into lifestyle offerings like retail shopping experiences, amusement areas and hotels.
The East's new age of consumerism is bringing about more mega mall complexes and also going local into strip type community offerings where you can eat, drink, work and sleep (ideally not in that order). Getting between the grinds, however, is still a monumental task that is best termed "carmageddon".
Roll over road rage and going postal, bring on parking rage. Assaults with deadly weapons, fist fights, broken homes and all manner of insanity lurk in the mind whenever you simply want to park your car. The Asian workhorse economies are pumping out the cash full-time, but seemingly, most government officials didn't get the memo. Zoning, building controls, infrastructure? Bring on Comedy Central to tackle these as it's like playing from behind against Manchester United 10-nil in extra time, with only nine on your side.
So I think I can answer the comedic question at hand with some authority.
Where's my car, dude? It's driving around aimlessly for hours just looking for somewhere to park.