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Phuket's North Korean Peace Talks Fail

Category: Tourism, Posted:01 Apr 2013 | 06:00 am

Peace talks over a pending military action by North Korea against their South Korean neighbors ended abruptly this weekend on the resort destination island of Phuket.
Political analysts have pointed out that the ill-fated peace initiative was doomed for the start. Upon landing on Saturday direct from Pyongyang the political emissaries of Kim Jong-un were delayed in long lines at Phuket International Airport after landing at the same time as fourteen charter flights from the Ukraine.
Seven hours later the delegation emerged from custom's only to find that their shuttle bus had already left. Fending for themselves, they narrowly escaped a vicious gang of taxi drivers who wanted to take them to the Katoey Paradise Resort and Spa off Nanai Road. Jumping into the nearest vehicle they ended up accidently heading to Rayong on a Visa run mini-van.
Some 17 hours later, they arrived back and the airport and were mistakenly identified as a group tour from Vladivostok (some of the delegation were from the extreme far north of Korea, just next to the Russian border), and wound up on a tour bus to Patong.
After a three hour trip which ended in gridlock in front of the Central Festival Mall, where tunnel works are currently underway, the leader of the group encouraged the delegation to make a run for it with suitcases in hand. Stepping off the bus, the entire group was immediately arrested as part of an Immigration sting meant to stop Russians from illegally works as bellboys at Phuket hotels.
Meanwhile yesterday the South Korean peace mission was not allowed to land at Phuket International Airport after being mistaken for the Gangnam Style superstar PSY and his entourage. Local officials cited growing social unrest over the endless playing of the Gangnam song and were worried that a more permanent menace to Thai culture could potentially explode if PSY was allowed to land.
Airport officials were later questioned by the press at a nearby 7-11, and uttered "no comment "as they consumer large bottles of Coke Zero and cans of Pringles potato chips.
After this weekend's decidedly failed peace talks on the island, they are next scheduled to shift to Helsinki. Unfortunately the UN's Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon will be unable to attend as he remains hospitalized at Bangkok Phuket Hospital recovering from a injuries sustained when his jet ski collided with a boat load of Rohingya refugees. The Rohingya's are currently being held in the same Immigration jail as the North Korean delegation and no one has yet sought the release of either group due to a general lack of interest. Summing it all up, another April 1st, another April Fools Day.

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