TO DISCUSS YOUR PROJECT OR LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR SERVICES:

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

The Great Toast Crisis

Category: , Posted:07 Dec 2013 | 06:00 am

First, let's fully dismiss the notion of what came first, the chicken or the egg. My current state of early morning hysteria deals with the aftermath of the two aforementioned commodities. In plain talk, I have evolved past the addictive jolt of caffeine and am now fully dedicated to fried eggs, sunny side up, and toast.
This is, of course, a baptism of fire and brimstone, or at least radiant heat and a fine piece of bread. Not one but two is where the rubber has hit the road. And yet my journey falls out midflight when the toast disappears at a rate not equal to that of the running yellow eggs. Call Stephen Hawking: The math has gone haywire.
Desperate situations call for either divine inspiration or absolute violence. Yes, Jesus did multiply loaves but what was his stance on toast? And where are those pesky little disciples when you need them to make a 7-11 run? There, of course, is the more abject course of throwing the plate onto the floor, turning red like a Manchester United fan and stomping out. But what would that achieve?
Who has dictated that eggs must come with only two pieces of toast? Why not one or what about three? Indeed what government body or unilateral, multinational NGO governs over the global standards of breakfast? These ovoidal observations are not going to get me anywhere, so I am put into a position of abandoning the eggs just like those Titanic sailors who missed the lifeboats and started to sink. This will undoubtedly get just as ugly in no time at all.
Real estate in many ways is like breakfast, or, shall we say, eggs and toast. Some divine body in a backroom decides what designs our condo must come in – be it modern, classical, art and design oriented or just a plain white box with four walls reminiscent of the insane asylum. (I' m not clear if those still exist but certainly the current trend of shoebox-sized flats in Asia's urban centers can provide a suitable alternative.) Can you fit a toaster in 20 sqm? Apparently not.
Even worse than institutional insipidness is when enlightened property developers come up with all sorts of elaborate alternatives in their endeavors to "think outside of the box". Getting out of the box can be dangerous, as all manner of stupidity exists in the world of hype-nosis.
Some bigger con do projects offer themed units such as Hello Kitty, or units splashed with colours that shouldn't exist outside of the bakery aisle, like vanilla, almond or mint.
More attempts at forward-thinking gets an eco-green-theme, landing us squarely in the ubiquitous world of 'lemon grass'.
My only true friend – the bartender at a dimly lit drinking establishment – has said that the only place mint belongs is in a mojito. I'd add that the only person drinking the mojito better be wearing a skirt, but since I live in Thailand the entire skirt thing just flies out the window. That is of course assuming you even have a window in your absolutely fabulous long-tail selection of endless property options.
This is premised on the fact that no one who buys into one of these schemes – breakfast or property – actually wants, needs or desires a third piece of toast.

Other News

Read more

Hotel White Label, Third Party Operator and Franchise Event

Category: Hotels, Posted:27 Oct 2020 | 08:55 am C9 Hotelworks and Delivering Asia Communications have organized a highly-relevant virtual event called “White Label Session – The Sequel, Insights into Hospitality Third-Party Operators and New Options for Hotel Owners”. The live webinar will be held on   Wednesday 4th November, 2:00 pm Bangkok Time | 3:00 pm Singapore/Hong Kong. Free registration is available HERE. A hospitality-focused virtual […]
Read more

Phuket Airlift To Koh Samui Is Back

Category: Tourism, Posted:23 Oct 2020 | 16:26 pm Bangkok Airways has announced the return of flights between Phuket and Koh Samui. According to the Phuket News service commences Sunday, October 25th leaving Phuket at 12:20 pm and arriving in Samui at 1:15 pm. There will also be a resumption of flights between Phuket and Hat Yai between Phuket and U-Tapao (Pattaya). The return […]
Read more

Khao Lak Hotel Supply Continues To Expand

Category: Hotels, Posted:22 Oct 2020 | 06:00 am Despite the downturn of Covid-19, hotel investment confidence in Khao Lak remains positive in the long term. One sign of this is a newbuild Pullman-branded Khao Lak Resort Is set to open on 1st December. The 253-key beachfront hotel and villa property features a design by Martin Palleros of Tierra Design.  Palleros is the architect […]